Unwinding
by SadieBloo
Summary: Steve gets terminally ill, and his husband Tony is there for him every step of the way even though he feels like he is the one dying. Stony, Superhusbands. Perhaps some science bros.
1. Chapter 1

Steve knew something was wrong with him. Something was very wrong with him. He had been feeling ill for weeks, and his head would not stop hurting. But that was nothing compared to the forgetting things. Steve never forgot anything, but now he was. It started out as just little things like keys or how to use modern technology, but today he couldn't find his way home. To where he had been living with his husband for the past year. It had taken Steve three whole hours to find his way home and remember where he lived. He stepped inside to find a very frustrated and angry looking Tony staring at him.

Tony stared at Steve in disbelief. It was their anniversary, and Tony had tried to make a nice evening for the two of them. He had gone out of his way to try and cook dinner, which was now cold. He just couldn't believe his husband. "Happy anniversary." Said Tony coldly before he walked into their room and slammed the door. If he had not been so occupied with himself and how he was feeling, he may have noticed something was wrong. But he was too busy being hurt for that.

Steve's face crumpled. He had forgotten their wedding anniversary. He didn't understand how that could have happened. It was his favorite holiday of every day of the year, and he had made plans for it as well. But he had forgotten and he hurt Tony. He walked to the bedroom and slowly walked inside. "Tony?" he asked, his voice shaking. "What?" said the other, his voice cold and hard.

"Tony.. I'm so sorry.. I don't know how I could have forgotten I.. I'm so sorry." Steve said, sitting down next to Tony and put his arms around him. "I love you so much, Tony." he whispered.

Tony turned to look at Steve and the sorrowful expression on his face. Through Tony's hurt, he was able to see how Steve was hurting. Something was wrong. Steve would never just forget something so important to them both. "What happened, Stevie? What's wrong?" he said, caressing Steve's cheek with his thumb.

Steve bit his lip and looked away. "Something is wrong with me. I'm... I'm feeling so ill all the time, my head just doesn't stop pounding and I... I'm forgetting things." said Steve quietly. "At first it was only little things, but today I couldn't remember where we live and.." Steve had to stop and catch his breath.

Tony's eyes widened. He took Steve's face in his and stared him in the eyes. "How could you not tell me this? How long has this been happening?" he asked, his heart was pounding at the thought that something was wrong with his Stevie.

"I.. I don't know how long. A few weeks I think." said Steve.

"I'm calling Bruce. This is.. shit, Steve, this is really bad." Tony said, getting out his phone and calling his most trusted friend.

* * *

Bruce asked Steve question after question. How long this was happening, where exactly in his head was the pain coming from, ect. With every question, Tony worried even more and he prayed this wasn't what he thought it was.

Bruce finally looked up at Tony when he was done. "Well, I would have to bring him to the hospital to get him officially tested.. but I really don't like what this looks like to me." Bruce said apologetically.

"What? What do you think it is?" Tony asked frantically.

"Tony.." said Bruce, putting his hands on his friend's shoulders.

"Tell me, Bruce! Now!" said Tony, he shoved off Bruce's hands. "Tell. Me. Now." he said.

"I think Steve has a brain tumor."

**AN: So, what do you think?**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: I apologize for any medical innacuracies.**

* * *

Tony felt like he couldn't breathe. They had gone to the hospital for the tests immedietaly. Steve had a brain tumor. Apparently inoperable. Apparently fatal. Tony had hoped and even prayed to forces he didn't believe in to make this untrue. He couldn't believe it, couldn't accept the fact that Steve, his Steve, the love of his life was going to die.

They drove silently. Tony focused just on driving, clenching the steering wheel in his hands.

"Tony?" Steve was the first to speak. He looked at Tony, blinking back tears. Steve placed his hand gently on his husband's.

"Yeah?" Tony asked, his voice gruff with emotion. He was afraid if he spoke more, he just might cry. "What now?" Steve asked softly. Tony laughed harshly "I don't know." he said. Steve bit his lip. "I'm going to die, aren't I?" Steve asked tearfully.

Tony stopped the car and turned to face him. "Stop it." he said. "Don't talk like that, okay? We're going to figure this out, and then.. and then.." Tony buried his face in his hands. He knew he was only trying to convince himself, but it wasn't any use. They both knew what was going to happen. Steve leaned over and pressed the gentlest kiss to the top of Tony's head. Cars behind them were starting to honk and Tony drove towards the tower.

"I love you, Tony. It's going to be alright. Somehow." Steve promised. "I love you so much." Steve said as they parked and went back upstairs. Steve didn't even know what to think. He didn't know what he was supposed to think. He was going to die, and leave Tony all alone.

The silence was broken once more when Tony said "What if you forget me?" he asked brokenly. Steve took Tony's face in his hands, horrified by the idea. "Don't say that. I'm not going to forget you. I'm never going to forget you, Tony." said Steve. "Until the day I die, I'm going to remember. You are Tony and I love you. I'm going to remember the best of my life. And that's you." Steve promised.

Tony nodded slowly. "I'm going to.. make a few calls." he said softly and kissed Steve's cheek softly. Steve wanted to say something more, but he found himself forgetting what it was. He went and curled up on the couch and fell asleep.

After making depressing phone call after depressing phone call, he went to the living room to see Steve fast asleep on the couch. Tony loved to watch Steve while he was sleeping. The pure bliss and innocence making Steve seem almost childlike. Tony envied that Steve could do that, escape his troubles as he slept. Tony could rarely sleep, and when he did he had nightmares. Tony sat beside him and stroked his hair gently. "I love you so much." he whispered. "I'll follow you, Steve. I promise I'll follow you in the end." said Tony. "I love you."

* * *

**AN: Sorry I haven't been able to update in a while. My electronics were all confiscated by my lovely parents who believe I'm on them too much. -sigh- they will never understand what it's like to be in love with a fandom.**


	3. Chapter 3

Steve was getting worse. Rapidly. He hardly left the tower anymore. Tony looked after him, reminded him where the kitchen was, and things like that. Every time Steve forgot something, it just made him feel a bit worse. But Steve made it a point not to forget people. He would stare at picture after picture, search his memories until his head was in excrutiating pain.

Tony did his best to stay strong for Steve. But every day he would find himself thinking and dreading 'Will this be the day? Will this be the day he won't remember me anymore?'

At one point, Steve and Tony were sitting on the couch, nestled in each other's arms. Tony pressed gentle kisses to Steve's lips. Steve smiled at him and carded his hands through Tony's brown hair. "I love you so much.. I'd love to marry you one day." said Steve happily. Tony froze. Steve had forgotten their wedding. "Stevie.. we're already married. Have been for more than a year." said Tony quietly. That made Steve stop and think, he looked up at Tony in confusion. "You're joking." he said. Tony took Steve's hands. "I'm not joking, Steve." Tony walked over and grabbed a picture frame and handed it to Steve, it was of the two of them kissing at their wedding. "I don't remember this." said Steve tearfully. He looked so happy in the picture. They both looked simply glowing, like it was the best day of their lives. And Steve had forgotten it.

"Oh god.. Oh god, Tony I forgot our wedding." said Steve, feeling a panic attack coming on. Tony grabbed Steve by the shoulders and held him there. "It's not your fault. It's not your fault in any way. It's okay." said Tony. He was hurting too, a lot. But Steve was more important. Tony was always strong for his Steve. "It's not okay! It's not!" said Steve. "You can't just say that.. I forgot our _wedding._" said Steve. Tony shook his head and smoothed back Steve's hair. "There's nothing we can do about it. It sucks. And it isn't fair. But there isn't anything we can do about it." Said Tony.

"I think.. I'm just going to go to bed." Steve whispered and got up. He walked down the hallway, opening a few doors looking for the bedroom. He didn't have the heart to tell Tony he couldn't remember where it was. Steve finally found it and closed the door behind him.

* * *

Tony was drinking again. Maybe more so than before. Tony had stopped drinking when he and Steve had gotten engaged. The idea of starting a family made Tony afraid that he would become like his own father, and he never wanted that. But Tony had broken into his secret stash and was drinking again. Only when Steve was asleep, though. He thought maybe Steve couldn't even remember that Tony had stopped.

But Steve did remember. That stuck in his head. It made his heart clench when Tony would come to bed late at night, smelling of alcohol and looking like shit. Steve knew it was his own fault. That if he hadn't gotten like... this, that Tony would still be the Tony he had grown to become.

* * *

One night, Tony left the tower. Just needed a night to himself. And a club full of people. Tony had gotten full out drunk and sat at the bar at a club. It had been a long time since he had been to this place. It had been his favorite. He looked over the scantily clad girls in a way that he also had not done in a long time. He got up and moved onto the dance floor, girls and guys pressed up against him and started to dance. He ignored how many times his cell phone rang. He didn't care. He didn't care anymore.

Steve was scared. He didn't know where Tony had gone, he had woken up late at night to find he wasn't there. Steve called Tony, over and over but he wasn't picking up his phone. Steve felt sick. He got out of bed and started to look around the tower, seeing that Tony was nowhere to be found. Steve ignored the terrible pain in his head and he got dressed, not sure where he was going, but he knew he had to find Tony. Once Steve was nearly out the door, he realized there was no place he could go. He wouldn't know his way back, and with his luck he would forget why he was out there. Another wave of pain came over his head and made him feel like he was going to throw up. Steve leaned against the wall to support himself and got out his phone, trying to call someone. Anyone. Steve slid onto the floor and blacked out.

* * *

About a few hours later, Tony stumbled into the tower with a girl on his arm. He laughed and gave her a messy kiss. He went towards the guest room with her, when he stopped and noticed that something was wrong. He looked down at the floor and.. oh god. Steve. His Steve. Tony was snapped into sobriety when he found his _husband_ lying on the floor. He could see the rise and fall of his chest. "Steve?" he breathed. He turned to the girl. "Get out!" he yelled. He knew that none of this was her fault. That he was about to cheat on his dying husband. That Steve was lying unconscious on the floor. But at the moment he could not help but hate her.

"Steve, wake up. Come on Stevie, we have to get you to a hospital." Said Tony, shaking Steve but not getting any response. "Steve please." he said, tears dripping from his eyes. "I'm sorry." he whispered to him. "Steve.. please.. Steve!" Tony yelled, clutching onto his husband.

**Holy shit angst. This was painful to write. I'm sorry if it sucked, I am. Sorry for the late update, too. My parents are out of the house and I'm sneaking on the computer. Still not sure when I'll be un-punished. :P**


	4. Chapter 4

Steve woke at SHIELD medical bay. It took him a long time to register what had happened, and he had a rare moment of clarity. He looked up slowly at Tony, whose eyes were puffy and rimmed with red from crying. Steve just stared at him for a while. "You left me there." he said quietly. "I.. I didn't know where you were... you didn't answer my calls. I woke up and you were gone and I.. I thought you left me." Steve's voice cracked and he struggled to keep his composure.

Tony went to take Steve's hand, but his heart clenched when Steve pulled his hand away. "I'm sorry." said Tony, his voice was pained and hoarse. "I'm sorry, Stevie. I wasn't even thinking and I-"

"I know you've been drinking again." said Steve quietly, turning to look out the window. "I know you think I don't see it.. or that I forgot that you originally stopped. Or that I'll just forget. But I know you've been drinking again." said Steve. "It's because of me, I know. I know that I'm just... Everything is ruined. Our plans for the future together..." said Steve. "That's why you're drinking again."

"I'm sorry, Steve, I am." Tony pleaded. "Where were you, Tony? Where were you that you left me all alone?" Steve asked very quietly, fidgeting with his hands and staring at his lap. "I was out.." Tony started. "Where were you?" Steve repeated, looking up at Tony with eyes swimming with tears.

Tony's heart broke a bit. He just wanted to wrap his arms around his Steve, but he knew he couldn't. "I was.. I was at Black Lantern." said Tony. "The club... and.." Tony ran his hands through his hair. "I got drunk and I.." "What did you do, Tony?" Steve asked very softly. And Tony wouldn't lie to him. Couldn't. But the truth... he just didn't know if he could say it. But he had to.

"I got drunk and I.. I'm so sorry, Stevie, I.." Tony closed his eyes. "It started as.. dancing. Just dancing. There were these girls and.. they knew who I was.. they knew I was married.. They didn't care." said Tony. "I kissed them both and I.. I brought one of them home. And then I found you." said Tony, choking on his own words.

Steve wanted to cry. Wanted to scream at Tony to get out. That he never wanted to see him again. That would be a lie. Instead, Steve simply looked at him. Hurt, disgust, betrayal danced in his eyes. "I want to be alone." said Steve, turned away from Tony. "Steve please, please just listen I-" "I need to be alone." said Steve. Tony let out a frustrated sigh. "You don't get it!" he said. "You don't get what it's like to just be stuck! Taking care of you and knowing every day that you are going to die and leave me all alone, and I am going to be complete _broken_ when you go! I wanted to forget that but I couldn't." Tony nearly yelled.

Steve clenched his fists. "Poor you!" he spat. "Poor, poor Tony!" Steve said. "I'm the one who's going to die! I'm the one that is going to lose everything! I'm the one who can't find his way around his own home, and I'm the one who gets lost a block from his house!" Steve yelled. "And my husband just cheated on me to top it all off, so I don't even have him anymore!" Steve yelled. He was practically sobbing at this point.

Tony shook his head desperately. "You have me, you still have me. It was a mistake, I'm sorry. It was an awful mistake." He said, tears streaming down his face.

"Get out." said Steve. He refused to even look at Tony. "I want you to get out. Leave me alone."

"Stevie please.."

"Out!"

* * *

Steve and Tony weren't speaking to each other. They avoided each other, avoiding eye contact. Tony was aching and guilt was practically eating him alive. Steve often couldn't remember why he was mad at Tony, or why Tony was mad at him. Either one. So he was left confused and angry and broken hearted and was forced to ignore Tony just as Tony would ignore Steve.

Steve was having enough of it. He wanted to speak to him, to hold him. At this point, it didn't even matter what they were hurting about, even if Steve did remember. Steve walked over to the couch, where Tony had been sleeping. "Tony?" he asked quietly. "Tony it's... I want to talk to you." said Steve. Tony slowly woke up, he looked up at Steve with a mix of relief and confusion. "Steve?" he asked.

"Yeah." Said Steve as Tony sat up. "What's going on.. are we done fighting?" Tony asked slowly.

Steve smiled softly. He swallowed hard over the lump in his throat. "I miss you. I don't know.. What happened. But I miss you. And right now can you please just.. just hug me, okay?" Steve asked, his voice trembled a bit. Tony instantly did as he was asked and hugged Steve tightly. He just held him there and rocked him. "I love you so much, Steve." Tony murmured and closed his eyes.

"I love you too, Tony" said Steve. He relaxed into Tony's arms and leaned his head on the other man's chest. Tony could feel Steve slowly drifting off to sleep. He stroked Steve's hair and hummed Steve's favorite song to him softly until Steve fell asleep. He continued to hum it even as Steve was fast asleep, curled up in Tony's arms.

_You are my sunshine,_

_My only sunshine._

_You make me happy,_

_When skies are gray._

_You'll never know, dear_

_how much I love you._


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: OMG! Thanks everyone so much for the positive reviews! They make me want to write all day, and now I can because my parents finally gave me back technology use! Yaaaay!**

* * *

Things had fallen into a routine. The two would wake up, Tony would tell Steve things about his life that he had forgotten. They would stay that way for a while and Tony would bring Steve breakfast in bed. Steve had gotten worse, and the littlest things exhausted him now. Tony would spend as much time with Steve as he possibly could. Sometimes he wouldn't leave the tower for days.

Steve woke up one morning to find Tony awake and looking down at him. Steve's brow furrowed in confusion for a moment. "I'm sorry but.. who are you?" Steve asked slowly.

Tony felt his heart shatter into a million pieces. He had known this moment would come. He had found himself hoping and praying for one more day, one more day for him to remember me. "I'm Tony." said Tony slowly.

Steve blinked. He placed his hand over his mouth. "You're Tony." he said, eyes filling with tears. "You're Tony and I love you." said Steve, clutching his head. He dissolved into tears. "I can't believe I forgot.. I can't believe I would forget you." Steve whispered. His shoulders shook from heavy sobs.

"It's okay, Stevie." But it wasn't. It was no where near okay. Because just for a moment, Steve didn't know who Tony was. Would the same thing happen tomorrow, only Steve would never remember?

"You're Tony and I love you." Steve repeated over and over and over.

But it wasn't long before Steve forgot for good. Tony ended up having to re-introduce himself every morning. He had begun sleeping on the couch, because Steve didn't feel comfortable sleeping with a stranger in his bed every night. And every morning, Tony broke a little more.

Bruce came over on more than one occasion. He would sit with Tony and talk. "Tony.. How are you doing?" Bruce asked one morning, sitting down on the couch next to Tony. "How they hell do you think I'm doing?" Tony snapped. "He doesn't remember me. He doesn't remember my _name._" Tony said. "It's not fair, Bruce. It's not fair. We were married.. We were happy. We talked about adopting a baby. We painted a nursery." said Tony. "And that's all gone. And soon he'll be gone too." said Tony. "It's going to be any day now." Tony said, on the verge of tears. "He's going to be taken from me any day now. And I'll just... be here. All alone. By myself. Like we never even happened." said Tony.

* * *

Steve sat on the couch one moment, sipping a cup of hot chocolate with whipped cream that Tony had made for him, as it had always been Steve's favorite even if he didn't remember it. "Did I tell you how I was in love once?" Steve said distantly. Tony shook his head, even though he had heard the story many times before.

"I fell in love once.. I thought he hated me at first. I thought he was an ass too." said Steve. "But... I almost lost him. And I.. I think it made me realize something I didn't know." said Steve. "So what did you do?" Tony asked, knowing the story by heart. "I told him. I took a chance..." said Steve. Tony smiled at him softly "And what did he say?" Tony encouraged. Steve's eyebrows knit together in concentration "I don't... remember." said Steve.

Tony's lower lip trembled, but he kept himself composed as he always did around Steve. "He told you he felt the same. You two stayed together. A long time, not long enough. But he stayed with you. He's still with you. He loves very much." Said Tony, and squeezed Steve's hand. Steve smiled. "I'm happy." he yawned tiredly. "I'm going to go up to bed." he said softly.

Tony helped Steve up to bed and stayed with him until he was sleeping, combing Steve's hair with his hand. "I love you." he whispered as Steve slept. "I love you so much." Tony whispered to him.

Tony felt a shuddering sob leave his body when the rise and fall of Steve's chest stopped. Tony went and felt his pulse, but even before that he knew that Steve was gone. That wherever he was, he remembered.

Tony had expected that he would shatter completely when Steve died, and he did. Completely and totally. Tony gathered his Steve in his arms and rocked him back and forth. Tony sobbed into Steve's chest. "I love you." he choked out. He repeated it over and over again. Soon Steve was cold, and Tony was reminded of how very alone he was. "My Stevie." Tony sobbed, clutching tightly to him.

Tony cradled Steve in his arms. He always remembered how Steve loved it when Tony sang. Tony had rarely ever sang, and he regretted it too. Steve had always loved Tony's voice.

"_You are my sunshine,_

_My only sunshine. _

_You make me happy,_

_When s-skies are grey.._

_you'll.. never know, dear.._

_how much I.. I.."_

Tony broke down once more, unable to finish the song. "You're my sunshine, Stevie. I'm going to follow you soon. Just like I promised." Tony whispered and pressed a long kiss to Steve's forehead.

* * *

**AN: Dammit I made myself cry writing this. Sorry Steve and Tony, I promise I won't kill anyone in my next fic about you. Maybe.**


	6. Chapter 6

**OH MY GOD REVIEWS! Thanks so much guys! It's lovely to know someone is appreciating my writing 3**

* * *

Tony was alone. Completely alone. He wouldn't leave the tower. Wouldn't leave his and Steve's bedroom. The only things he felt were crushing grief and guilt and anguish. Sometimes, he had rare moments of happiness, and laughter. When he would remember something Steve had said once, or something they had done together. But those moments were always followed by a fresh storm of tears. He lied, curled on Steve's side of the bed, holding Steve's pillow that still smelled just like him.

Tony couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't. "JARVIS... Lock all doors to the tower." Tony instructed. "Are you sure you want to do this, sir?" the AI asked knowingly. "I'm sure. It's.. my only shot of seeing him again." said Tony. He went to the cabinet and grabbed a bottle of pills. The one he had been saving. "JARVIS." Tony cleared his throat. It was silly, but he still needed to say something. "You are my best creation. You erm.. you look after Dum-E and the others.." he said quietly. "It has been a pleasure to serve you, sir." the robot sounded sad, if that was even possible.

Tony grabbed a glass of water. He downed pill after pill, until he collapsed on the bed. Darkness closed in around him.

* * *

"I think he's waking up." Came a voice. "God, Tony, you idiot." said another. "Guys.. guys.. give him space." Tony's eyes opened slowly. He blinked a few times, trying to get used to the bright light of the hospital room. "Steve?" he asked groggily.

"No, Tony. It's Natasha, Bruce, and Clint." said Bruce softly. "You scared us there, Tony... we thought.." Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose, unable to continue. Tony was his best friend. He couldn't lose him. Not like this.

Tony dissolved into tears. He wanted to be gone. He wanted to be free of this grief and pain. He wanted to be with Steve. "Take me home. I want to go home." Tony demanded through tears. Natasha shook her head. "They're keeping you here for twenty four hours to just make sure.." ".. That I don't off myself." Tony finished four her, wiping the tears from his eyes and regaining his composure. "Fine." said Tony. "I don't care." he said. Tony just couldn't bring himself to care anymore.

* * *

And Tony didn't care. He didn't care for years. If he believed it would truly bring him to Steve, Tony would have ended his life in a heartbeat. But he wasn't so sure anymore. As the years went by, the crushing grief had become a horribly dull ache. It weighed down on his shoulders. He didn't really smile or laugh anymore. There were some nights when the pain would become to much, and these nights JARVIS was instructed to notify Bruce to come stay with Tony. He would cry and beg for death some nights, usually when he drank.

Tony stopped caring for himself. He didn't kill himself, but he stopped trying to keep himself alive. Even so, Tony met his end at the age of seventy two. Even when he was old, and his face was deeply lined... He was still Steve's beautiful Tony.

When Tony finally did meet his end, he was lying in bed. He closed his eyes. He felt that his time had come... he could feel death's grip on him and he welcomed it as an old friend. Tony closed his eyes, and in those last seconds, he swore he could feel the never forgotten feeling of Steve's gentle lips on his.

* * *

**The end! Sorry for the angst, but I decided to end it with a tinsy bit of fluff. I love you guys! Thanks again for reviewing and such!**


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